Mr. R posted the link to the following lyrics... what does it mean?
The Unforgiven III Lyrics
How could he know this new dawn's light
Would change his life forever?
Set sail to sea, but pulled off course
By the light of golden treasure.
Was he the one causing pain
With his careless dreaming?
Been afraid, always afraid,
Of the things he's feeling.
He could just be gone.
He would just sail on
He'll just sail on.
How can I be lost, if I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold, how come it's got so cold?
How can I be lost? In remembrance I relive.
And how can I blame you, when it's me I can't forgive?
These days drift on inside a fog
It's Thick and suffocating.
His sinking life, outside its hell
Inside, intoxicating.
He's run aground. Like his life,
Water much too shallow.
Slipping fast, down with his ship
Fading in the shadows.
Now a castaway.
They've all gone away.
They've gone away.
How can I be lost, if I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold, how come it's got so cold?
How can I be lost? In remembrance I relive.
And how can I blame you, when it's me I can't forgive?
Forgive me.
Forgive me not.
Forgive me.
Forgive me not.
Forgive me.
Forgive me not.
Forgive me.
(Forgive me) Why can't I forgive me?
Set sail to sea, but pulled off course
By the light of golden treasure.
How could he know this new dawn's light
Would change his life forever?
How can I be lost, if I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold, how come it's got so cold?
How can I be lost? In remembrance I relive.
So how can I blame you, when it's me I can't forgive?
Monday, December 21, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Conversations in IM Statuses
We've had interesting conversations (although brief) via the Google Chat status. It's petty and dumb but it's a tie to what is going on...
For instance, I know that Mr. R will be in the southern part of my state for Christmas. I'm assuming then that he will be there with his step-mom. I'm sad that he'll be 5 hours away... close but not too close.
Last night, I broke down again and put "is snooping really an unpardonable sin or just an excuse to keep something ended that you were going to end after Labor Day anyway... I still have questions"
he put in his status "then maybe you should call"
I wrote: "I did, but you didn't want to talk"
That was the end of our conversation and he signed out. So what does that mean? I checked my home phone, he didn't call me - so he's not making this where I know he will talk with me.
In a way, I want to know EVERYTHING so that I can NOT like him any more. I hate that I hold onto this.
For about 2 weeks, I felt frozen and I thought that was good... because hopefully, that is a step to getting over Mr. R for good... but then, this week I have missed him again. It's so DUMB! He was only part of my life for 3 months and even then, it was minimal... but to me, a naive girl, with few men I've fallen for on my list, he was significant.
My problem this week is I'm going out with a guy tonight who is interested in me... he's nice and funny and smart and comes highly recommended from some good friends of mine... (and they aren't 20 year old recommendations either)... so I should be excited and open to the possibilities... My insides rebel. I just want to be with Mr. R - but then I think I probably only want to be with the MR. R that I thought I knew...
so if I got some answers, wouldn't I be able to have a clearer picture of the fact that he was just using me as a smoke-screen and didn't really respect or care for me... (I keep trying to tell myself that... how long will it take to believe that?) it's why I want to talk... just give me back my heart - right now I just have a hole where it was.
For instance, I know that Mr. R will be in the southern part of my state for Christmas. I'm assuming then that he will be there with his step-mom. I'm sad that he'll be 5 hours away... close but not too close.
Last night, I broke down again and put "is snooping really an unpardonable sin or just an excuse to keep something ended that you were going to end after Labor Day anyway... I still have questions"
he put in his status "then maybe you should call"
I wrote: "I did, but you didn't want to talk"
That was the end of our conversation and he signed out. So what does that mean? I checked my home phone, he didn't call me - so he's not making this where I know he will talk with me.
In a way, I want to know EVERYTHING so that I can NOT like him any more. I hate that I hold onto this.
For about 2 weeks, I felt frozen and I thought that was good... because hopefully, that is a step to getting over Mr. R for good... but then, this week I have missed him again. It's so DUMB! He was only part of my life for 3 months and even then, it was minimal... but to me, a naive girl, with few men I've fallen for on my list, he was significant.
My problem this week is I'm going out with a guy tonight who is interested in me... he's nice and funny and smart and comes highly recommended from some good friends of mine... (and they aren't 20 year old recommendations either)... so I should be excited and open to the possibilities... My insides rebel. I just want to be with Mr. R - but then I think I probably only want to be with the MR. R that I thought I knew...
so if I got some answers, wouldn't I be able to have a clearer picture of the fact that he was just using me as a smoke-screen and didn't really respect or care for me... (I keep trying to tell myself that... how long will it take to believe that?) it's why I want to talk... just give me back my heart - right now I just have a hole where it was.
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