unfinished conversations

So, I just went through an old email where I listed all the things I loved about Mr.R. I sent a partial version of this once to him in a card. He told me that he threw it away after everything - so... well, anyway... at the end of that email is a list of things I wish I could say and things I wanted to talk about but felt like Mr. R was suddenly not available - not as available as he had been in talking the first two months. It's interesting. Hindsight is 20/20.