This whole morning threw me off when I talked with my grandpa, his wife, and the other lonely old man. I came home instead of going directly to church and I was just wanting to vent and cry for all the sadness... and so I chose venting. And what I really want is just to be with someone who cares... but I chose venting because the truth is, there's no one here.
I'm sorry you bare the brunt of it - but you're not technically "here" any more and more a figment of my imagination of someone I can vent to.
I am having a hard time letting go. You don't talk to me and yet I still can't let go. I wish you would talk to me, it was almost better when we did talk instead of just keeping things empty.
I have this hole in my heart and soul and I don't know how to fill it. I'm doing what I'm supposed to... I'm reading, I'm working on being spiritual, I'm working, I'm physically doing well, I'm even pursuing the dating options.... but deep down. I'm still yours and can't forget.
The sad thing is, you say I don't play games, but my writing this blog is a game and every time I write to it, I feel like I'm not living up to the good person you thought I was before everything happened.
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