deep down

I'm sorry for the venting. Deep down, it's just a hurt that I can't be part of your life any more. As early as July, I felt like we were going to be something. I want to be your friend, lover, confidante. I want to be your listening ear. I want more hugs like the night of your play. I want to be there for you. I told you before I was addicted to you; your friendship; your kisses; YOU. I'd never been this confident in a relationship's potential before: I wanted to introduce you to my friends, I didn't think 'wow, this will be a tough marriage if we get married...'. It's hard for me to let that go and decide that what I felt was false.