I'm Mad

I take it all back. I do get mad. Not often but I'm feeling mad and there's nothing I can do. I'm mad about that last night, I'm mad about the summer that wasn't real. I'm mad that we're not real now - and I'm just mad. I'm mad that I'll see you in 2 weeks and I don't think you want to. I'm just stopping through but what do you say, "i've got a good friend coming that weekend". I'm mad that I'm not a priority in your life. I'm mad about this whole situation.

I'm mad that I went on a date last weekend with a great guy and I am mad that you are still in my mind and heart. I'm mad that you're the only guy that my mind and heart have agreed on - and yet, I'm not what you want. I'm just mad. I don't want to practice patience any more. What's the point?

in two weeks - from tonight. That's the end. I can't do this any more. I want my heart back. I just can't do this any more. I can't hurt any more.

I just wish you'd be straight up with me and tell me to stop with us being in contact. It hurts too much and I wish you'd tell me straight out that you're pursuing other options and don't want anything to do with me. I've made it, like the song says, too easy to walk right in and out of my life. I want my heart back - I don't want it to be someone's who doesn't want it. I want someone who wants to be with me. But I also wish that someone were you.

I wish...

Last week, you said that you wish we could go on a trip/have some time together, now...now that all this other stuff is out of the background. (I'm paraphrasing).

I wish we could too.

Don't believe in Should'ves and no Regrets

Boy it's been all this time,
and I can't get you off my mind,
and nobody knows it but me.
I stare at your photograph,
still sleep in the shirt you left, (ME: I WISH I HAD ONE)
and nobody knows it but me.
Everyday I wipe my tears away,
so many nights I've prayed for you to say.

(Chorus)
I should have been chasing you,
I should have been trying to prove,
that you were all that mattered to me,
I should have said all the things,
that I kept inside of me and maybe,
I could have made you believe,
that what we had was all we'd ever need.

My friends think I'm moving on,
but the truth is I'm not that strong and nobody knows it but me.
I've kept all the words you said,
in a box underneath my bed, (ON MY COMPUTER)
and nobody knows it but me.

But if you're happy I'll get through somehow,
but the truth is that I've been screaming out.

(Repeat Chorus)

It was all we'd ever need.

Oh, I thought it was all we'd ever need.

I should have been chasing you,
You should have been trying to prove,
that you were all that mattered to me,
Oh, you should have said all the things,
that I kept inside of me and maybe,
You could have made me believe,
that what we had,
Oh, that what we had
What we had

It Was all we'd ever need

p.s.

Now I know this is ridiculous, but I honestly think that Mr. R really won't come back to the blog and see any of the new postings so - ... if I felt like I could talk with you... this is what I'd say....


I just have to say, I like the new FB profile page. It's a good look for ya.

I know... dumb that I won't tell you - but we aren't friends on facebook right now, so it's not my right to comment.

If you...

If You Love something, set it free... if it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, then it never was.

"yours" "real" to me those words are synonymous. I'm not sure we were really real.

I'm having a hard time setting you free.

Hope you're having a great week

You wrote me that I think about you a lot... well that's true. So I know I need to stop... . You are a friend, so of course I think about you. You are going through a hard time, so of course I worry about you. I care for you and hope you're doing well. I'd lie if I said I didn't think about you still - a lot - but the fact is, this isn't reciprocated and you do have other things going on... but I deserve someone who does reciprocate the wanting to know what's going on in my life/share what's in your life...