Thursday, September 24, 2009

Drifts and new beginnings

We've both moved on into things we wouldn't have done otherwise. I've run a triathlon. You - you're in a play. I'm convinced that you'll date your costar. You deserve to find happiness. Everyone does. I hope she's a great girl. This month, I have a couple dates setup by friends. One, he's not a member.. should i care? Another, I know nothing about him. I have to go in with an open mind.

What is hard to let go of is the feelings from this summer and thoughts of "next year we'd be together..." that "something just felt right" that I've never met a better guy that fit like you did for me...it's what I felt and I thought you did too. I didn't think those feelings were coming from me... Somewhere there is a driftwood tree in the sand that may or may-not be there next year. it's the empire state building that I don't want to let go. I thought a higher power was involved. Why would that higher power allow us to feel something false?

may we find the best for both of us.




Monday, September 21, 2009

Why 4 more days?

That's a question I don't think I'll ever fully answer well. I had a choice to run right away. I chose to ignore what I read and pretend for 4 days! Sometimes, it was hard during those 4 days - others, it was a time of hanging out with a great friend - and I would believe we were real. I wrote in my real blog - with Mr. R, I always wanted "More" - more than he had to offer, I believed we were "more". On that fateful Friday, I wanted "more" - I felt like that time would be stolen from me. So I selfishly had my "more".


Despues de pensar, despues de ver
a mi dolor andar sobre el agua del mar
Tibia claridad
Que vi por mi calle pasar
Sin saber que hacer, si sentir o pensar
Solo que aun hoy sigo aun
Aun hoy sigo atandome a ti
Aun hoy mi amor te doy
Mi cuerpo con alma
Se esconde del sol
De noche se escapa
Aun hoy te doy
Mi cuerpo con alma
Aun hoy, aun hay

Que esconde la noche
Va a aguardar entre nosotros dos
O sentir o pensar
Se me lleno de luz la noche
Y es porque yo vi nadar
Delfines en tu voz
Y sentir sin pensar

Solo que aun hoy sigo aun
Aun hoy sigo amandote a ti

Aun hoy, mi amor
Aun hay dos cuerpos con alma
Se esconden del sol
De noche se escapan
De noche se dan
Los cuerpos, las almas
Aun hoy, aun hay

Solo que aun hoy sigo aun
Aun hoy sigo amandote a ti (amandote a ti)

Aun hoy, mi amor
Aun hay dos cuerpos con alma
Se esconden del sol
De noche se escapan
De noche se dan
Los cuerpos, las almas
Aun hoy, aun hay

Aun hoy, aun hay
Aun hoy, aun hay ..

Why keep contacting? I guess because what I felt for you was real for me. I fell deeply. I haven't been able to let that go and just forget that. It takes time - and the suddenness of it - just made it all the harder.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Images

Like the song I posted last... images... I went and picked up my Costco pictures today. Some of those picture, we're smiling and happy. Others, we're goofy. Did I really give up a good thing in the hopes of something better? Was it the right choice?